I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
