At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
