So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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