"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
