when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
