why didn't you poke me back
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
