I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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