Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
