im having a threesome with these popsicles
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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