yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
