I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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