I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
