I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
