you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
