the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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