I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
