You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
