That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
