Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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