I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
