he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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