its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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