Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
