I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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