What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I die, sorry about rent.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
