I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
