i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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