just come out here and I will go home with you...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
