Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
