on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
