He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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