He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
