Apparently you make a good broom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
