I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
