Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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(817): View more from Texas

this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING

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(503): View more from Oregon

It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

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(303): View more from Colorado

And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"

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