to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
