My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
