dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
