Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
