my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
