i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
