It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
