I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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