I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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