I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
