went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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