I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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