The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
