he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
