Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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