So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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