Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
